Second House, Partially Open!

Two women joined the Liahona Mission as guests on the 27th of June.  They're also taking lessons with the Missionaries already!  They're not technically the first women guests, but they are the first of what will now be a sober living home for women.

Brief historical flashback:  We had had two women at the original sober living home, back when we were first trying to start.  We had figured that whatever gender showed up for help first, that's the gender we'd focus on.

It was two women back then, that September of 2014.  They moved in a bit early, before they had their program fees, because they were having an emergency.  Then their checks they had expected were delayed.  Some are already seeing where that was going!

Yeah.  It went to them having to leave, two weeks later, after they learned a valuable lesson in "Oh, yeah, sober living homes don't need to give 30 days notice when you aren't paying anything."  One had actually threatened to take it to lawyers and eviction courts, but I've forgot more about Landlord/Tenant law than most young legal aid lawyers will ever learn! 

That was also when we decided to do away with key locks, which involve the difficulty of getting a key back or changing the locks, and had our current electronic locks installed on both houses! 

Moving back to the present, these two moved in just fine, no program fee paid, but that was at least understood and agreed on at the start.  See, the basement still isn't finished either, so while I'm uncomfortable charging, I was also uncomfortable it going to waste.  And since where they had been wasn't working out as well, this gives them electricity, running water, and - by schedule - going over to the other house for a shower.

The other house being right next door, so that's convenient!

There's been some of the usual stuff that involves someone first living in a group home environment.  Rules that you don't think need to be rules often do need to be stated explicitly, but it's hard to know in advance which ones those may be!

For instance, this morning I received a facebook message from one of them that they were going to have a fire in the little grill in back.  No problem.  That's a nice area back there, almost feels like you're not in the city.  If they wished to grill up whatever food they had for breakfast, more power to them. 

15 minutes later, I strolled out to see how it was going.  There was a fire merrily going in the low to the ground grill.  Several logs in there burning quite briskly!  But no women in sight!  Or anyone else!

Checking their room downstairs, they advised me that they had tried, but it hadn't seemed to start, so they gave up and were going to sleep in!  I went back outside and put the fire out.  This, by the way, is why a "Program Supervisor", "Caretaker" or whatever you want to call me is needed!

Someone has to take personal interest in the properties!

Other things that arose were specific to they being female guests.  (Though some might argue that the fire was, too!)  I got all their stuff over in my van this past Monday, and we got them all unloaded while a couple of the guys from the men's sober living house watched. 

After they were moved in, I went to my office to get the applications for the two new guests.  A literal minute later, I was downstairs in their room to give them their applications - and so, already, was one of the guys from the other house!  I chuckled and said, "Well, that didn't take long!"

And so I promptly announced the "new" rule of "No guys in the girl's house, no girls in the guy's house!"  (As some of you know, no overnight guests are allowed, and while they can have a female guest over during the day, such can only be in the living room, and there can't be any "romance".)

One happy thing is I think the number of cook outs is going to go up.  The men and women already met in the common area outside between the homes for a cook out earlier this week, and are apparently going to have one again this Friday, and it's nice to just have everyone cooking and socializing! 

I was also able to clarify the "new" rule.  No, there are no girls to be in the guy's house to "just" get some ice.  No, no one needs to go downstairs to their room to ask them something.  No, while showers are available at the guy's house, I must be the one to escort them over, they cannot be there by themselves.  One of the guys asked if this was for the protection of the women.

I said, "You could see it like that.  Or you could see it for your protection.  Or mine.  In any case, I've studied many sober living homes, and the mix and match ones never work well!"  (A mix and match one is where the men and women are literally in the very same house, and the "13th step" is greatly indulged in.)

I also told the guys again - quit smoking in the house!  They agreed not to.  So I said, "Yes, but this time, I'm serious, quit it for real, I'm tired of smelling it!"  Hopefully that will work.  And if one of them is reading this, they should know that it better work!  ;)

In other happy news, I talked to the lady from Utah again yesterday, and her son will be flying out to stay here on Saturday!  I'll then get to take him to Church this Sunday! 

Now I'm waiting to hear back from a lady from the Triangle Center.  I'm inquiring about their methadone maintenance program and how all that works.  And on another - but similar - note, another woman, not a guest, who had asked if I could take her to Decatur for detox earlier this week skipped that.  It was the same woman I had took there before, only to have her runaway from it.  (See the article "Another Day at a Sober Living Home")

Ahh, well.  Hopefully next time.

Pictured: Barbecue yesterday, barbecue tomorrow, all quiet this evening!