The Make or Break

I rolled into Springfield, Illinois about 10 years ago.  This fall, it will be 10 years ago.  I had an $8,000 RV (out of gas) and a desire to try to make some changes in my life.

I bought a condemned house at 700 E. Stanford Avenue for $8,900.  And then spent some years - quite a few years - putting $20,000 or so into it to get it fixed up.

$2000 worth of windows, $7,500 for a roof, water heater, furnace, sinks, electrical, plumbing - everything.  It adds up.

It was a bit of effort, to say the least, and there were times I wasn't sure it would be done.  I lived in the basement for awhile, before there was plumbing and full electric, even though the City didn't want me to.

But if I had rented a place to live, I'd have had less per month  to throw at repairing things.  And the house needed so much repairs, I was basically just having it built back up around me.

The City Inspector asked how come any time he came by I was here.  I said that sometimes I worked so late into the night that I might fall asleep for a bit.  I confess now on facebook that I was really living there, in an "unsafe" house, so I could fix it.  He knew I was all along.  Eventually he took me to administrative court claiming I wasn't fixing it up fast enough.

I explained how I was eating two packets of Top Ramen per day at lunch at work, where I had access to hot water and a microwave.  The rest went to repairs that were being made absolutely as fast as possible.  I had all my receipts and pay stubs.  It showed over 95% of my paychecks going to repairs and while I did buy other stuff like shampoo and toothpaste, a lot of receipts were for Top Ramen! 

I got my extension.  That house was uncondemned two months later.  That house was not only fully repaired, not only pays the City good taxes each year instead of costing Springfield money, but has helped over two dozen people since in their path to sobriety and learning about Jesus Christ and our Church.

Before it was a sober living house, there was the whole adventure of me finding my own sobriety first, with the aid of AA, and the even more invaluable aid later of the Church.  But this isn't that story today, though it is a great one, and I've shared it before in testimony meetings.

When I was living at that house, finishing it up, there was a very old man living at the 634 E. Stanford house right next to it.  He had lived there as a child, never really left home, and when his parents died, he moved up stairs to their bedroom - it's only a one bedroom house - and lived the rest of his life there.

He was a hoarder, and let the house break down around him.  He let the plumbing and the electricity go.  He used the restroom at the gas station on the corner and borrowed my phone when he needed to make a call.  And sometimes he used my bathroom, but he had his pride and liked pretending that all was well over there.

I was able to have him over to dinner a few times, but not enough to thaw him out into confiding how bad it was.  I gave him a ride to his doctor's appointments a few times, when he let me.  Or if I found him halfway there by cane and badgered him into letting me take him the rest of the way.

When he died, I waited awhile, curious as to what his relatives would do with the place.  I saw nothing happen.  I finally looked up who had it through the city records, it was a brother of his, about the same age.  Old enough that his grandson handled the affairs.

I wanted to buy the house.  I had absolutely no money.  I offered $3,000. 

The grandnephew of my deceased neighbor thought $9,000 might be fairer.  I agreed, but pointed out that there was thousands of dollars worth of clean up, and then thousands and thousands more in electrical, plumbing and such. 

He agreed, and dropped it to $3,000. 

Then I asked him the next day if I could do it "contract for deed".  And pay $300 per month for 10 months.  I explained that it would be easier financially for our Foundation.  And true enough, it obviously would be!  He kindly agreed.

Finally I asked that due to the legal owner being very old, and such contract for deeds having gray areas to them in the event of death, if we could close on the house with the first $300, and have title transferred, then have a personal contract (notarized) with his granddad for the remaining $2,700, and the balance to go to him if his granddad died in the meanwhile.

He agreed.  Which is the whole story as to how I bought a house a few years ago for $300!

I did then make those $300 a month payments, about halfway through his granddad did die, and I made the rest of the checks out to him.

I cleaned the whole place.  A first floor and basement were choked with three dumpsters full of trash.  I had help from the Missionaries who found it quite adventuresome!  I made sure that anything in all the horrible trash that had any kind of sentimental value was salvaged. 

Old pictures, some military memorabilia, various keepsakes.  I boxed them up and gave them to the grandnephew, and he was pretty surprised and happy with all that, since it pertained to his ancestors that he hadn't really ever got to know.

Many of you reading this know the rest.  Moving out of the completely fixed house at 700 E. Stanford Ave. so that it could be used as a sober living home called "The Liahona Home".  The non-profit being re-named "The Liahona Mission" to reflect my conversion to the Church and the new mission of aiding others in finding sobriety - and learning of the restored gospel.  And moving into 634 E. Stanford, which while not condemned, definitely should have been.

The initial wave of fix ups, new bathroom put in upstairs where an empty hole had been, getting half the electrical done where none existed.  When I moved in, we asked the Relief Society for a lot of water jugs, and those were used as there was no plumbing at the time.  The toilet worked mechanically, so if you wanted to flush it, you had only to pour water into the tank!

But the Liahona Mission was up and running, people were being aided.  And after a few more months, the plumbing worked so that there was cold running water and no more need for the jugs.  And showers were had for a $10 a month gym membership at Planet Fitness.  And the next March, a kind Brother at Church who I home taught asked the address of the place and then had a water heater shipped over from Lowes!

One of the guests of the sober living home then came over to install it.  Other repairs proceeded as paychecks allowed, and as donations came in or as program fees could afford.  Never enough, as is usual in any such projects.  Or as I've told some, "There's a reason why it's called a 'non' profit!"

But part time job this, and temp job that, donation this, donation that, and the rest of the electricity was put in.  And the rest of the plumbing.  And then even more electricity put in the basement.  And then plumbing put in down there.  And the bathroom that many have heard about, and quite a few have helped with.

So here we are.  Of two broken down, ready-to-be-bulldozed, one condemned, the other condemnable, dilapidated worthless wrecks doing nothing but costing the taxpayers of Springfield money, there are now two houses, one fully functioning and aiding people, and the other hovering on the brink of being able to, both paying property taxes!

This house at 634 E. Stanford needs (besides minor and scheduled finishing up of the remodeled basement) one roof.

Just one roof.  Ball park that will take about $1,200 in material, and I am hoping that a combination of Church and Sober Living house volunteer labor will be up for the taking down of the old shingles and the putting up of the new.

Given how life usually is, the $1,200 that would cover stuff like shingles and nails and a dumpster and tarps will end up being closer to $2,000 because once someone competent in roofing is out to look at it he'll say, "But it'll also need x, y and z, and if there's damage under the shingles that I can't see, we'll need plenty of z, y and x as well!"

Knowing I'd need this kind of money, I've worked from January through this month of May earning a bit over $2,500 by doing personal aid and tutoring work at LLCC.

The City, ever helpful as usual, has contributed a $365 fine and a 35 day deadline on this due to expire approximately the 15th of June. 

The State, ever helpful as usual, has contributed NOT paying me the $2,500 they owe me for work done this past semester until the budget is approved. 

And so here we are - one roof needed.  More specifically, $1,200 - $2,000 needed.  To say donations would be helpful would be an understatement.  I have, from the start, been reticent about donations, and never even took any until we were already aiding people at the first house.  There have been donations - and most helpful ones - since then.  But it was felt important to be up and running and helping others before receiving donations.

This is the last big thing the Liahona Mission needs.  Oh, true, there will always be other projects and such, no one is going to stagnate or stop striving, other improvements and such will be made.  But this is the last big and crucial "have to" instead of "want to" project that is to be done.  The last with a deadline!  This roof is the big one, the thing that puts the tiny little non-profit over the top into a self-sustaining and relatively self-supporting entity that can only grow, and never be threatened with closure for some repair not being able to be afforded!

The whole of the time I've spent on these properties, it's always been, "Do this or we shut you down, get this or we shut you down, jump through this hoop, dodge that beam, pay this fee, get that permit, comply with this or that or we shut you down."  And it's all been done.  Heck, as I told the City Attorney once, "It's not like I don't want to do all these things, it's the doing of them as fast as they say that is killing me!"  But all that is - 99% - over!  All but one more thing.  One last thing.

This roof. 

This roof is so needed.  When it's done, there'll be two nice, fully restored houses put in service of aiding our fellow men.  And fellow women! 

I'm specifically asking for that aid now.  Not hinting and hoping, but flat out asking.  By donation, or by loan, and I mind not either, I need the funds for this.  If by loan, I can pay off at a rate of $300 per month, same as when I purchased the house in question.  Someone could literally charge this on a credit card, and be paid back interest and all, in less than 10 months.  Or a variety of people could donate/loan various amounts that add up to all that. 

Call or text or email.  Any time of any day.  The hope - the urgent need - is that the work on the roof start no later than June 10th, a Friday, giving that evening and Saturday for this.  And some few days after for finishing before the 15th.  Any material/financial aid is appreciated.  As is willingness to volunteer labor-wise.  As are all of your prayers - because make no mistake, this final "have to" project is a make or break. 

The Blame Game

Who's to blame when someone is killed by a drunk driver?

What brings this on is that I've an old friend in Bloomington, Illinois who's kid - adult son, lives at home - is on his third DUI and from what I gather, he plead that out to three to five. No, not as in "three to five years in prison"! As in "three to five stern wags of the judge's finger". In last minute negotiations, the "angry look from the bailiff" and the "dolefully shook head of the court stenographer" were dropped as being violations of his 8th amendment right to no consequences.

And I'm glad. Well, glad-ish. No one wants to see someone they know, and someone dear to a friend, slammed into prison. Okay, I'm not really glad. Or rather, I'm glad my friend isn't sad. It's complicated. I love them all, but boy howdy is this a train wreck in which the actual crash is surely coming, but not quite yet arrived. It's a years long crashing. A crash in progress. And I fear that the final part of the in-progress crash will be later on, when someone finally dies.

You see, the "kid" still isn't going to meetings. And by "meetings", I mean, "AA meetings". Because he thinks he's not really an alcoholic. Though as I told the mother, "Yeah, there can be a lot of debate as to when and if a person is truly an alcoholic, but usually by the first or second DUI....yeah. Yeah, that's when we're getting pretty sure. The third, even sure-er."

I told the mother that two great gifts were received by his son. Gifts that should prompt him to gratefully go to meetings. Gifts that should not be took for granted.

The first gift, the one you're all thinking of, is that there will be no prison involved, though I'm sure most of you figured that by your third DUI, that was a given. Nope, it's not. Maybe if you live in Ferguson it is, but no, for most of you reading this, who know not to go with the Public Pretender, it is not. We were smart enough to choose the wight parents. Er, "right" parents.

The second gift is that no one died, though not for lack of trying. Three DUIs, three times no one has been killed. Remarkable. That's not because anyone did anything right, though. No, there's a lot blame to spread around in this blame game.

Fig. 1: The Future

We can blame the judges, and the District Attorneys, and our society as a whole that puts up with this, and how we all did our best to make sure that someone died by not taking action! And heck, it was my friend's nice new-ish Jetta! So it's on mom, eh? How dare she have those keys hanging on the hook!

We who are to blame have not quite succeeded at killing anyone yet. But we're all still trying. And trying really hard. The DAs are still trying to cut deals with those who's lawyers are competent enough to make the DA have to work for it, and heaven knows, no DA wants to work for it. That could mean their absurdly cherry-picked 99.99% conviction rate could drop to 99.97%. The judges are still up for not slamming down a "good kid" from a good home, especially not the kind of good homes that can afford appeals. And we of "society" lost interest in MADD back when they were crusading for yet another .01 drop in what we call the "legal limit", and oh, look, gay marriage! Kanye! Something shiny! Etc!

What of the parents, I hear it called out from the readership - aren't the parents especially to blame? Mom? Her Jetta? More so than the others of us in this blame game?

Actually, no. They aren't. Wait...what? The parents aren't to blame?

No, they are not to blame. It's time to get serious in this idiotic "blame game". You see, it's not my friend's job, or her husband's job, to keep the roads safe, or to see to it that our justice system works. Their job is to be there for their kid, and they're doing fine at that. Oh, they wrestle with what to do, sure, who woudn't? But I've heard of how they handle it, and I can't think of a thing to add or correct. And I'm a real buttinsky, so believe me, if there was some correcting to do, I'd be all about "just" letting them know! Yeah, I'm "that guy"!

Honestly, I am well aware of their two choices, and why they chose as they did. They had a choice between "tough love"/"rejecting" or "helping"/"enabling". Depending on which way a person believes, it makes a difference in how they phrase it. They chose "helping".

So you know, it's common among many, including myself at times, to advocate for not helping/enabling. To advocate the tough love/rejecting approach. But that's easy for me, I would only be advising that in general for a group of drunks I'd never be seeing. And it would work. Kind of. You see, there's a bit of an attrition rate to that method. Give 100 alcoholic and/or addict kids the boot to the curb. A given percent will take that as a wake up and go to meetings and get their lives in order at once, thanking their mothers and fathers for doing what needs to be done. They'll go to church and send their moms flowers on Mother's Day, too. And get a job at their Dad's company. Uh huh.

A percent will. Seriously. But it will be a very, VERY tiny percent! Kind of more like a percent of a percent.

The rest will go through a lot of hell, probably sink a lot deeper into addiction/alcoholism, while chanting the mantra of "they abandoned me, so I'll show them"! They'll be living their sad lives elsewhere, keeping grandkids from their folks, not being there for reunions unless to gripe at the stone-hearted parents, etc., drama and stupidity, etc. They'll still drink, they'll still drug, but as long as they still are clinging to a part time job or discount trailer, or even a couch at their pal's apartment, they'll be sure they're succeeding and that the folks were wrong. This is a much, much larger percent, but that percent will eventually hit bottom and then come around. Years later, they'll get around to thanking mom and dad. Well, maybe not the last part. But maybe there'll be thanks one day. With alcoholism and addiction, even the best case scenarios are usually lousy. And what you just read was pretty much the best case scenario. Yeah, loving an alcoholic sucks. Surprise.

And then there's the ones at the other end, past that middle, who will hit rock bottom - and die. Of an overdose. Or another DUI. Or a gang shooting. Or AIDS. Or from "coming at" a policeman. Or picking the wrong fight at a bar. But mostly from an overdose or DUI. Admittedly, that will also be a small percent, most will fall in the middle. But it's a percent. Some will literally die for having been booted out of the parent's home or the spouse's home. And there's not a parent or loved one out there who does not know that in their hearts. And fears it.

Given this, you can see why sitting at a laptop banging out an article, it's easy to just say, "Oh, yeah, tough love is the way to go, don't 'enable', just blah blah jargon, just psycho-babble babble and he'll be fine! He'll thank you later!" But I've pondered this many times, because the kid's mom is one of the few friends from my High School days that I still keep in touch with, and it's caused me to see how stupid such opinions can be. If it's your own kid, or someone you care for, you don't want to play percents. You'd rather keep helping and hoping, and at least then if he dies, it was not because you booted him out.

Of course, the sad part is that keeping him safe can lead to him eventually still doing the DUI thing again and again and dieing eventually on the fourth or fifth attempt. And then the good and decent parents will blame themselves, too. This is why there are support groups for the families of addicts and alcoholics. It's because active alcoholics and addicts suck. Not in a cute way, where we say this modestly and self-deprecatingly. No, we really truly suck as people, as human beings. We are selfish and spoiled and entitled and indulge in our stupid sins while knowing that it puts parents and spouses and loved ones and others who care in a completely untenable position of being blamed either way. Blamed if they boot us out and we die. Blamed if they keep us enabled and we cause another to die, and/or die ourselves, too.

Only in recovery can we even begin to hope to grow some decency. And it's a long road.

Because, oh, yes, the kid in question, remember him? We've talked about society and it's faults and how they're to blame, and the courts and their faults and how they're to blame, and what if any blame to assign to the parents. But then there's the actual kid who isn't a kid, but a grown man. Who's still trying for a future innocent death. He's failed to kill anyone three times already, but I'm sure if he just keeps practicing, he'll succeed one day. And since he is sure he has no problem, I'm sure he'll keep practicing. I won't describe the game he's playing, but it was described to me, and I truly believe that what the parents are hoping is "sincere remorse" is really "I've bought another year or so of living a dozen times above my means while still relapsing at will."

Why do I say such a mean thing? Why am I so cynical as to believe that of him? Is that not uncharitable of me? No. I believe it because of scriptures! Holy moly, it says right in scriptures that "faith without works is meaningless"! That just saying you believe something without doing anything towards it is meaningless!

And so I'm supposed to believe that when an in-denial alcoholic with his third DUI notch on his drunken belt STILL won't go to a meeting that he's really depressed because he's feeling "remorse"?

Ha!

Not a funny "ha", but a "Yeah, right" contemptuous "ha". There's no remorse. Remorse is an emotion that the parents of his future victim might feel, and that I'm sure his own parents will feel, but it is sure nothing he's feeling now. He's too busy being self-indulgent and self-justifying. He's to busy being smooth, as in "smoothly ducking any and all real consequences". He's played Russian Roulette with the lives of every one in McLean County, not once but three times, and he's busy with faux self-pity, consoling himself as some kind of victim!

"But Dean! Isn't addiction a disease? Isn't alcoholism a disease? I mean, gee, Dean, you run a sober living home! The poor guy is a victim - of alcoholism, like you've been saying!"

You bet it's a disease, and if you show me the man getting help for that disease, even on Day One, I'll have nothing but sympathy for him, even if it's his 48th try! Just as I would anyone with Typhus. But you show me that same "man", who thinks he has some kind of right to cough in public without covering his mouth and spit in the town well, then my sympathy for that Typhoid sufferer - or drunk driver in denial - goes right out the window, lost in my sympathy for his victims of the past, victims of the present, and soon to be future victims!

My sympathy is not infinite, and if this is my failing, then I admit it openly and honestly. My sympathy is for the society that really has bent over backwards to try to aid the alcoholic and addict, by de-stigmatizing our disease and making it okay to admit to, and okay to get help with. My sympathy is for our courts who while they have their faults, are also over-burdened. My sympathy is for my old church youth group friend and her husband, who truly have no good options but can only pray and hope. And my sympathy is for the person killed on the fourth or fifth DUI, because mark my words, if there is no admission of guilt, then there will be a re-offending.

No one ever repented by denying that they ever sinned.

And like with Russian Roulette, you only get so many plays. Eventually that game ends.

In the blame game, we speak of many, but I blame above all the unrepentant drunk. The in-denial alcoholic. The lone person for which all others must then endure and deal with all the meaningless drama. It is that person who we should truly blame, not parents or courts or society or suns getting into eyes. In fact, I don't blame that drunk "above all", I blame him "only". I blame the person who is not doing a thing to solve the problem while everyone else but him is trying desperately to solve what only he can solve!

And by "thing to solve that problem", I do NOT mean pensiveness, reflection, depression, melancholy or promises as to new and bright futures. I mean "actual work". As in the minimal effort of "going to a meeting" for one hour per day!

Still think I'm too hard? It's known by many that I'm one of the easier Program Supervisor there is, as I'll take a person by the hand and go to any meeting with them, at any time. And give chances. "Chances" is plural. But the commonality of all who I have helped is that they have to admit that they need it. I've no help for the person who insists I believe that he's just fine, yet he can't provide for himself.

But past all that? How'd this get around to yet another person being blamed (me!) instead of the drunk driver? It's still not his parents fault, it's still not the judge's fault, it's still not the DA's fault, and it sure as heck is not my fault he drives drunk, no matter what a grumpy cynic I can sometimes be! It's one person's fault, and one person's fault only. Only one person is to blame, and if you're worried about me speaking tough, then at least admit that tough talk isn't going to get a small child spread over the pavement one day and scooped into a tiny coffin the next.

I'm speaking "tough" because I'm demonstrating why all should stop playing the blame game. It drags in too many unwilling players, none of whom really had any point in being there were it not for one single solitary person.

The drunk who won't go to a meeting to save his life.

The drunk who won't go to a meeting to save OUR lives.

The Perils of Job Hunting

Finding a job after you've hit bottom due to drugs and/or alcohol can be a daunting task!  Finding decent jobs in this market - for anyone! - is tough enough nowadays, and if you've hit bottom due to addiction, it's even harder!

Yet the basics are the same for all of us, recovering from addiction or just suffering a bit of bad luck.  Or for that matter, those just starting out in life!

This article is not then about the specifics of resume writing, interviewing and such.  At the Liahona Home, we do provide those services for those who are staying with us, but this is more about one of the saddest pitfalls that can side-track the young, the inexperienced, or the desperate.  Or especially the alcoholic/addict trying to get back on track, and looking for the short-cut to it.

And that pitfall is when the job is not really a job!  There are several ways this can happen.  But I'm going to cover just the one called Multi-Level Marketing or MLM.  Learn of this, and do not be taken by it, or have your real job searches delayed by it.

First, they are basically the traditional "Pyramid Schemes" like Amway (or whatever name they are under now) or Herbalife (or whatever name they are under now) or any like them.  A pyramid scheme is one that relies upon you getting others to sell, rather than sell the product yourself, and at the same time, those new sellers make money by getting others to sell under them, moreso than the actual selling of product.  They call it "building your down line", but it really means, "Find more suckers".

Bear in mind, you're the down line of the person offering this to you, so the first person you'll recruit as a sucker is - yourself!

Signs that you've come across one of these scams is when they aren't telling you the company name up front, or the minimal qualifications are just too minimal or when the compensation seems unrealistic for the work desired.  Or all of that.  Additionally, this scam will want you to pay a given amount of money to them first, for a "starter kit" or "deposit" or "information package" or any other name.

How you avoid this is by realizing that besides a State required license or a work uniform deposit, you NEVER pay to work!  And that even in those two situations most companies will simply deduct that cost out of your first check, thus costing you nothing up front.  Pyramid schemes, which are Multi-Level Marketing schemes, will have you pay up front, because if they relied upon taking it out of your first check, they'd never get paid! 


Don't believe me?  Ask your recruiter to spot you the "initial investment" or the "starter kit fee".  And that you'll pay them back after all that great money you earn so quickly, like they assure you that you will.  When they hem and haw, that tells the tale.

Second, Multi-Level Marketing schemes (MLM), under thousands of names, are just the sanitized version of Pyramid Schemes.  They rely on the same things pyramid schemes rely upon, but with a twist.  They go to greater lengths to have a surface legitimacy, but do so by leaning heavily on your initial first wave (and most often last wave) of sales. 

Signs that you've come across one of these scams is where there is still the initial payment for your "starter kit" or "inventory", still the same lack of qualifications needed and still the same over-compensation claimed, and they advise you (in unpaid training or by emailed instructions) to solicit all of your family, friends, and everyone you know at any club, campus, church or corporation you have any relation to first. 

How you avoid this is so-called "job" is by realizing that they gain "customers" by the supposed employment offer!  You are buying their products from them, and at that point, they've won!  You were the customer!  If you can sell the products to those who will buy from you only out of love and social pressure, that's fine, but no concern of theirs.  If you can get one of your family, friends or acquaintances to sign up for this "opportunity", that's all the better, because that - and only that - is another actual customer!  The prime customers are not then those you are selling product to, but you and anyone else you fool into this "opportunity".

Thirdly, there's the "Legit Sales Job" ruse, again under thousands of names.  If Pyramid schemes like to package themselves as MLM, then MLM likes to dress up as a "legit sales job".  They wish to play off the fact that insurance sales and real estate sales are "legit", and involve some licensing or schooling money up front, therefore, the MLM must be legit, too!

Signs that you've come across one of these scams is where little or no experience is required, no real training in the product is offered, and the compensation claimed is unrealistic.  Real estate sales and insurance sales will usually require much training, often times from accredited agencies, and with a license involved.  Even in the auto world a great deal of past experience and often times being bonded is required.  

How you avoid this pretend job is by realizing that they have hit upon the fact that they can risk extending to you some limited amount of small ticket inventory that they long ago paid some clearance price for, and see if you can sell it for them.  Your "compensation" will come out of the profit, and will be a small percent of that profit.  Thus they can't lose - they get the product back if you can't sell it - and you can't win, as the amount of product that you'd need to sell per day is far too much to be realistic.  Unless you get "distributors" under you - see "down line"!

Fourthly, in all of the above cases, simple "due diligence" or research is not enough.  All such companies are great at gaming the system, and will have shills online write glowing reviews of how great the company is and how wonderful an opportunity this is.  They will go even further, and have shills write supposed "exposes" on scams, and that fake site will pretend to "investigate" the company, and then - surprise! - find that this company is legit, while all it's competitors are scams! 

They'll also game the system with the BBB by changing their incorporated status a lot.  New corporate names, "doing business as", multiple corporate names, re-incorporating, all these tricks keep their company new and fresh and with a cleaner rating.  They also know how to send in false reports to the BBB and other watchdog agencies, and to even send in complaints themselves (about themselves!) so as to "correct" them to the "customer's" satisfaction at once.  Remember, it's not the number of complaints that count, but what percent were "resolved to customer's satisfaction".  If they receive 10 real complaints that they are scammers, but submit 90 false complaints that they then "resolve", then they've a 90% customer satisfaction rate, don't they?

They also have the sneakiest weapon of all - their past victims.  Sometimes these victims were never victims, and enjoy trying to trick family, friends and acquaintances into something so as to line their own pockets.  But much more often, the victims started as victims, and now feel pretty stupid, and can only validate themselves and grow a bit of their self-esteem back (not to mention growing a bit of their losses back) by tricking others they know as they themselves were tricked. 

Thus Bob from your alma mater, or your cousin Jane, or your Manager's wife, or Frank from your gym aren't really approaching you because they "heard you were in trouble and want to help", but really because they know that "the more people I run this by, the greater the odds are that one will fall for it".


If all they can do is sell you some over-priced product, fine.  But they mainly want to sell you on YOU selling others, on YOU becoming part of the "down line"!

How you avoid all this is by knowing one simple thing - "If it sounds too good to be true, it is."

Fifthly, some might say, "But I know good people who do this, and succeed at it!  Like my friend who sells Avon (or Mary Kay, Amway, Herbalife, Nutri...and so on.)!"

There are some people, and the key word is "some", who can by lots of effort, a bit of talent, and mostly "connections/friendships" and "social status", gain a given segment of a local market such that it works well enough for them.  Picture the Manager's wife who sells all the wives of the employees in her husband's company their make up, or the popular guy at some fitness club who has pressured his buddies there and at work into getting all their GNC type supplies through him for a "discount". 

They may be making little more than some pin money, subsidized by a real job (theirs or their spouses) or they've maybe gone whole hog and in an exception that can only be described (literally) as "one in a million" have enough "down line" sales staff, who themselves have down line sales staff, that they can make the big bucks that everyone has been told is "possible".

Mostly they'll be the first type.  99 times out of a 100 they'll just be the first type.  Just selling to their social circle and a bit of their extended social circle, and by being personable enough and selling products that are at least average, can - by buying in bulk - give others just good enough a deal to make it worth their while, and still get a bit of profit for themselves.  Even that takes FAR more effort than you can imagine, and involves a good deal of high pressure tactics that any of them would flat out deny.

Yet "high pressure", while coming in many forms, does include "presuming off of personal relationships".  And while it can be any one at the club or the church or the office, it's far more often "the Manager's wife" than "the custodian's wife" that is going to succeed at this, EVEN if both are equally talented in sales.  Think hard on that one, and remember why you didn't like it when your boss at your last job tried to get you to buy some raffle tickets or candy bars from his kid.

Please read this next part very carefully:

There are legitimate sales jobs.  But you are NOT a salesman, or you'd not be considering any of the above, you'd know better.  And if you are still thinking, "Yes, I am a salesman!" or "I could be a salesman, how hard could it be?" or "I could work sales, everyone had to start somewhere!" then know that you've overlooked something.  And that is that if you're so great a salesman, you should get a real sales job, like shooting for your real estate license, or trying your hand at a used car lot. 

"But how do I 'try my hand' at a Used Car lot?" you might ask?  Easy.  Go down to one, talk to the owner of it, and persuade him to let you spend the afternoon selling his cars.  You pay him nothing up front, and he pays you only 25% of what the usual commission would be, but if you succeed, he lets you do it again tomorrow for full commission. 

Don't think you can persuade a random used car dealer to let you do that?

No?  Then you're NOT a salesman!  For the first thing any real sales person sells is himself.  If you can sell yourself, you can sell any product.  Why do you think that the above scam sales jobs focus so strenuously on family and friends?  Because they know you have no hope of making any where near enough cold call sales to strangers!

And if you answered, "Yes, I could persuade that car dealer!", then go and sell those cars!  That's a bona fide job, you won't be "buying the first car" up front, you won't need to have "down line" sales staff, you won't have to change company names every year or write fake reviews.  You'll simply sell actual products to people who need them, people who you don't even know, so you won't be presuming on any relationship.

There are many other real sales jobs.  Often times with base pay and other ways of making sure you are secure day in and day out.  Pick any of them, from Pest Control to Security Systems.  But avoid like the plague the ones listed above, where there are nothing but suckers, and the first sucker sought is YOU!