Tip Over

Things have been fairly well lately, but that's because of the kind angels who donated to us to cover the tip over expenses.

What's “tip over” expenses?

That's where you're going along paying the routine bills - barely - by doing that usual middle class American budgeting trick of "paying whichever vendor says they're about to turn something off first" and while juggling all that, you see the property taxes are due.

Or a refrigerator starts breaking down.

Or even as little as seeing that an oil change is due on the car.

For millions of Americans, this is what savings are for.  Kind of.  You see, by "savings" I mean where they dream of saving up $10,000 for their kid's college or that dream vacation they've been speaking of for years, but then as soon as a few hundred dollars is saved, something comes up.

So no matter how many years go by, they never have any savings.  Then someone in the 1% on TV can smugly talk about how the key to middle class prosperity is if "they'd be smart enough to save".

Sorry, straying off topic!

For us, while we're in that position, it’s more because of the size of the task being undertook.  Two properties are being maintained, one being still fixed up, and four men being aided at a time.

However, one of the points of our mission is not simply the providing of a home, but to aid those who stay in avoiding their own tip over points.

You see, while it's obvious when you hear it stated, the "tip over" point for people is lower the further down they are socially and economically.  We're all mostly aware of how that works among those in the middle classes, as described above, and how in their case they rely on networks of friends or some sub prime credit cards or some “tide over” payday loan.  A "tide over" to avoid the "tip over".

With those who have wrestled - and lost - to alcoholism and addiction, they have, if we're meeting with them, already tipped over.  But the frightening thing is, there is always another "tip over", at least until you are dead.  A house holder can tip over to a renter.  A renter can tip over to a friend’s couch.  And the from the couches they can tip over to the shelters, and from the shelters they can tip over to the streets.

And in easily over 80% of the cases, alcoholism and addiction is a part of this process.

Those we meet have tipped over, and lost everything, but finally went to detox and/or rehab.  And starting with pretty much nothing to their name, no family or friends who are up for helping any more, and about 90 days of sobriety, they have nothing to rely on but homeless shelters or halfway houses.  Including sober living homes like ours.

We're specifically here for the alcoholic and addict, and I've been in their shoes myself, having had nothing and no one due to my own past active alcoholism.

When they're took in, the thing to guard against is another tip over.  Anything that lets them fall back down to the couches or streets.  Voluntarily or involuntarily.

Now voluntary I can't do much about, though I try.  A guy decides that $50 for a week of a place to stay is not as fun as spending $50 on booze and crashing on the couch of a stewbum "friend", and besides some pleading, that's his call.  Likewise if $50 is to be spent on some crack to smoke at a crack house or under a bridge.

I can reason, I can cajole, I can do that pleading.  I can have books and pamphlets available.  I can give rides to AA meetings.  The house itself is one and a half blocks from an AA meeting place that meets several times a day.

I can even do some clever stuff that tends to encourage them not to tip over by how I arrange the program fees.  Changing from a monthly fee to a weekly - and collected on Fridays - made a positive difference in likelihood of any relapsing.

Yet in the end, voluntary tip overs are still beyond my control.

Fortunately I can prevent the involuntary.  "No ID" comes up a lot.  Both with guests and with those who have heard about me helping and need that, too, even though they are not guests.  I then let guests or non-guests use this address to get their birth certificates mailed to.

And drive them to and from the Social Security office and hospitals for medical records and back again.  And drive them around to various churches and charities that may sometimes aid in paying the fee for a State ID down at the DMV.  Or a driver's license, if they are fortunate enough to still be able to drive in spite of whatever DUIs are often on their record.

Without these, the guest is quickly "tipped over".  Without a place to stay while getting all these, without a mailing address, without even a ride, they'd have no hope of job or other programs.  And from being a recovered alcoholic who can potentially rise, they'd tip over into "street person who can't rise, but can only panhandle and drink".

This gets tricky sometimes, as we ourselves require ID.  For liability somewhat, but also because if something goes wrong, it's good to have an actual name to report to the hospital or police or loved ones.  But usually we can work with a copy of an arrest report or mug shot or probation papers or other such items.  We’re one of the few places that will do that.

It always surprises some that you can’t just show up at a homeless shelter, you need ID.  And for some street people, they don’t know how to go about getting it, or have no one who cares to aid them in getting it, and so are trapped.

How else can guests get "tipped over"?  Oh, mostly stuff that discourages effort.  If jobs aren't falling into place at once, or if something they were working on gets put off.  So we try to aid in getting them to interviews or helping with resumes or sharing tips on who may or may not be hiring.

Or we can aid them in signing up for school and filling out loan application forms.  Or introduce them to the local plasma donation center, always good for some sure fire weekly cash.  As is pointed out to each guest, our program fees are deliberately set low enough so that one could afford to stay here simply by donating plasma each week.

Court is another big "tip over" threat that we try and keep from harming them.  Court appointments can be here in Springfield - or three counties over.  We can aid with rides, with advice for what to expect in court, and in procuring a button down shirt, tie and slacks for their appearance.

Judges and DAs are meaner if you show up in jeans and a t-shirt!

And conversely, they are nicer if your Program Supervisor shows up with you to put in a good word about how you’re working and striving to do better.  The biggest things judges, prosecutors, probation and parole officers want to see is “stability” and “progress”, and if we can offer evidence of those, it helps the guest a lot.

I could go on all day about the number of things that can tip over a guest, and the importance of being right there for just in case any of those things come up.  Sometimes it's as little as the gift of a tie, pre-knotted! Other times a ride of a few hours to visit kids not seen in months.  Or a reference.  Or a bike.

Not having a place to stay that is safe is thus an obvious tipping over event and one that we are here to prevent.  And that is known by everyone.  But the point of this article is that it's not just about the house and the lights.  That there are other tipping over events, and for that it's more than a house that is needed.

It's care and concern.  And being johnny-on-the-spot as much as one can be.  And being ready at 3am, 7am, noon, 6pm or midnight to respond.  And it’s a willingness to get burned a lot of times in the hope of “the one” that really will be serious, and really will be helped.

And you have to tell yourself that even when someone burns you and blows you off, that at least you gave them that chance, and a bit of safety and comfort and hope for awhile, on their journey to recovery...or death.  And really, isn’t that what life is all about for any of us at any level?  Giving a bit of hope and help to those we can?

I remember when I was homeless and had no one.  It would be difficult, if not impossible, to convey to you how that felt.  A feeling of despair not helped by knowing of your own responsibility for that.  I first decided that I never wanted to feel that way again.

Then I decided that I’d as soon see no one else feel that way either.